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August 05 2017

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glubtier:

catbountry:

intercal:

This is the American Gothic. If you’ve never been to the USA, this image sums it up pretty well.

#I feel like I’ve driven past this before#been exactly here#but at the same time I’m not sure

Same, actually.

I had to find out where this really was because looking at it, I felt like I knew exactly where it was. It turns out it’s in Breezewood, PA, and i have never been there, which only serves to highlight the OP’s point. 

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brattyvenus:

I wasn’t asked to a single dance in high school and didn’t have a serious romantic relationship until I was 22. And like, yeah that shit hurt when I was younger. I had a lot of fears that I was unlovable and that I didn’t deserve to be happy. And every time I would try to talk to anyone about it, the conversation became, “you’ll find someone”, when it should have been, “you don’t need a relationship or a date, you’re lovable & complete & beautiful on your own”.

So yeah, please normalize young people not dating, and please stop shaming them for it. There’s more to life than romance, despite what the media wants us to think.

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starrythighz:

a safe bird

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trebled-negrita-princess:

adequategatsbys:

I have never before seen such a brown kitty.

IT LOOKS LIKE A S'MORES POPTART

Comedians in a nutshell

blackbird-and-the-heropon:

Jim Gaffigan: I love food so much none of you even understand

Jeff Dunham: I’m a normal guy with a fun life and a nice family haha :-)
Jeff Dunham: now let me bring out my first puppet
Puppet: HAIL SATAN MAKE 9/11 HAPPEN AGAIN HAHAHAHAHAHA

Bo Burnham: guys seriously I’m not gay
Bo Burnham: someone has to insert their penis in my asshole right now

Kevin Hart: GUYS DID YOU KNOW I’M SHORT AND BLACK DIDYA DIDYA DIDYA

Chris Rock: I’M GONNA REPEAT THIS SETENCE FIVE TO TEN TIMES BEFORE I MAKE MY JOKE
Chris Rock: I’M GONNA REPEAT THIS SETENCE FIVE TO TEN TIMES BEFORE I MAKE MY JOKE
Chris Rock: I’M GONNA REPEAT THIS SETENCE FIVE TO TEN TIMES BEFORE I MAKE MY JOKE
Chris Rock: I’M GONNA REPEAT THIS SETENCE FIVE TO TEN TIMES BEFORE I MAKE MY JOKE
Chris Rock: I’M GONNA REPEAT THIS SETENCE FIVE TO TEN TIMES BEFORE I MAKE MY JOKE

Daniel Tosh: if I don’t personally offend at least 1000 people tonight my life will be over

Louis C.K: have you ever woken up with your mouth in your own asshole I have

Bill Burr: WAKE THE FUCK UP AMERICA IF I SPEAK LOUDER WILL THAT MAKE ME FUNNIER

Gabriel Iglesias: I’m so Spanish lol
Gabriel Iglesias: why does everyone call me Spanish???????
Gabriel Iglesias: *makes impersonation of a Spanish guy
Gabriel Iglesias: food
Gabriel Iglesias: I’m fluffy

Dane Cook: GUYS CHECK OUT THIS NEW INFORMATION I JUST RECEIVED
so appARENTLY cows have these things like UTTERS and they’re pink and they have like FIVE penises and I just find it SO FASCINATING :ooooOOOOoooooo

Lewis Black: So politics are really stupid but I’m gonna talk about them
Lewis Black: so yeah democrats are retarded and SO ARE THE REPUBLICANS EVERY SINGLE FUCKING POLITICIAN IS FUCKING RETARDED AND ANDKSHALDNSLJSOEJSPSLSJDJSLSJKSDBKS *explodes*

George Carlin: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH AMERICA GOD ISN’T REAL YOU STUPID RETARDED WASTE OF HUMAN LIVES DIE DIE DIE EVERYONE DIE

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July 03 2017

July 02 2017

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artruby:

Damien Hirst, Cupid’s Lie, (2008) at White Cube.

Reposted byasmothell asmothell

July 01 2017

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cinniharpy:

They’re here. Your polemans

June 27 2017

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enoughtohold:

have i ever shown you guys this bathroom that’s super super full of dicks courtesy of keith haring, 1989

it’s on the second floor of the lgbt center if you’re ever in nyc and wanna check it out, totally free

eronthebender:

mugglebornandraised:

copperbadge:

tucsondom:

copperbadge:

39thyear:

shelomit-bat-dvorah:

wordsaredelicious:

shelomit-bat-dvorah:

witchpieceoftoast:

prokopetz:

unsurpassedtravesty:

prokopetz:

Some of my favourite urban sights:

  • Bricked-up windows
  • Upper-storey doorways that open into empty space
  • Staircases that lead nowhere
  • Clean, working, fully stocked vending machines in obscure and inaccessible places
  • Detailed graffiti on surfaces with no obvious spot for the artist to stand, like the underside of a high bridge, or ten metres up a bare wall
  • Machinery left to rust because there’s no use for it anymore, but it’s in a weird or precarious location and there’s no way to safely remove it

(I’m sure there’s a theme here…)

I’ve been rereading Unknown Armies again recently and there’s a part of me that wants to find occult significance for this sort of nonsense.  But then, I kind of enjoy looking for occult significance for a lot of nonsense.

I’m not convinced that there isn’t some occult significance to some of these. The vending machine in particular stems from what’s definitely one of the weirdest experiences I’ve ever had.

First, some context: I don’t know if it’s like this everywhere, but major Canadian cities tend to have a lot of underground infrastructure - particularly in their downtown areas, where train tunnels, parking garages, underground shopping malls, and hotel basements often connect in such a way that you can easily walk for miles without ever seeing sunlight. The interconnections typically aren’t public, or at least not advertised, but a surprising number of them are accessible if poke around; I once followed a maintenance tunnel in a shopping mall parking complex and emerged in the basement of a nearby casino!

Anyway, I was snooping around in the maintenance tunnels below one of the larger local hotels - legitimately, mind you; I was working for the local telecom at the time, trying to track down an errant network cable - when I rounded a bend and noticed that the corridor a few dozen feet ahead of me was brightly illuminated by something. On top of being filthy and difficult to access, the tunnel was also unlit (I’d been navigating by flashlight), so this really stood out.

I couldn’t see any obvious light fixture to account for it - the light seemed to be emerging from an alcove off to the side of the tunnel - so I went to investigate, and discovered… a Coke machine.

Spotlessly clean, fully stocked, and apparently in full working order; the illumination was coming from its interior display lighting.

In a grimy, unlit maintenance corridor twenty feet below ground level.

In retrospect, I’m kind of glad I didn’t have any change on me at the time, because I’d have been sorely tempted to buy something, and who knows how that would have worked out.

if you’d had that coke, in accordance with the laws of food and drink consumption in the otherworld, you probably wouldn’t be here to tell us this story.

@wordsaredelicious, I presented your theory about the Waffle House pocket universe to my father and he shuddered in realization of a truth!

YES! I am so glad to hear my theory confirmed. There is only one Waffle House with many, many entrances to the Waffle House pocket dimension scattered across the United States.

…somehow I get the feeling that the One True Waffle House, if it exists on our mortal plane at all, might very well be in Georgia.

This whole thread screams @copperbadge

To add a little to the creepy, every time I try to find the Waffle Houses in Illinois, the Waffle House store locator page is down.

Puts this in a whole new light. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waffle_House_Index?wprov=sfla1

HOLY SHIT: 

The Waffle House Index is an informal metric used by the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) to determine the effect of a storm and the likely scale of assistance required for disaster recovery. The measure is based on the reputation of the Waffle House restaurant chain for staying open during extreme weather and for reopening quickly, albeit sometimes with a limited menu, after very severe weather events such as tornadoes or hurricanes. The term was coined by FEMA Administrator Craig Fugate in May 2011, following the 2011 Joplin tornado; the two Waffle House restaurants in Joplin remained open after the EF5 multiple-vortex tornado struck the city on May 22. According to Fugate, “If you get there and the Waffle House is closed? That’s really bad. That’s when you go to work.”

I love humanity. 

I mean, the devil went down to Georgia looking for a soul to steal……

Listen if you ever see a “closed” Waffle House you need to run I’m not saying it’s demons but it’s demons somewhere near by and you need to leave that area until you find another Waffle House that’s open.

I’ve never seen or heard of a Waffle House that was closed without some big Shit happening.

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southernfriedblondebitch:

lifeisbetterinheels:

Goddamn Josh

#this dude #is my fucking hero

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June 24 2017

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batchygyo:

blue-bower:

bugcthulhu:

meglyman:

Mimic Octopus has had enough of Dancing Crab’s shenanigans

darn dancing crabs and their jazz crab hands

‘HELLO MY BABY HELLO MY H-“
“NO”

i cant control my hand suddenly

just-shower-thoughts:

At the airport yesterday I spotted a woman wearing a shirt that said 100% human on it. I initially thought “oh that’s nice she’s trying to show that her race doesn’t define her as a person”. then it hit me that she might just be an Alien with the shittiest disguise in the world

wilwheaton:

scarlettohairdye:

killerchickadee:

buttheadhatesthetcc:

lauralot89:

Jesus Christ was a brown Jew in the Middle East, conceived out of wedlock in an arguably interracial if not interspecies (deity and human) relationship, raised by his mother and stepfather in place of his absent father.  He may not have had a Y chromosome.  He spent his early youth as a refugee in Egypt, where his family no doubt survived initially on handouts from the wealthy (You think they kept that gold, frankincense, and myrrh from the wise men?  Hell no, they sold that stuff for food and lodging).  He later returned with his parents to their occupied homeland and lived in poverty.

The religion of Jesus’s people has no concept of a permanent hell and instructed its priests on how to induce miscarriages.  Jesus explicitly rejected the concept of disability as a divine punishment.  He spoke out against religious hypocrites.  He had enough respect for women to let his mother choose the time of his first miracle.  He blessed a same sex couple.  He told a rich man that he must give up his wealth to get to heaven, and also told a parable about a rich man suffering in agony in presumably Gehinnom (basically Purgatory) just to hammer the point home.  He told people to pay their taxes.  He declared “love your neighbor” to be one of the two commandments on which all laws hang.  He commanded his followers to help the poor.  He commanded them to help the sick and the needy.  He spent time with social outcasts.  He healed the servant of a high priest during his arrest rather than fighting back.  He was put to death by the occupying government because he was a political radical.

Trump and his administration are xenophobic, misogynistic, racist, fear-mongering, warmongering, tax-dodging, anti-Semitic, anti-choice, anti-welfare, anti-equal pay, anti-LGBTQIA+, anti-immigration, support tax cuts for the rich, support Citizen’s United, want to keep refugees out of this country, want to limit our ability to speak against the government, plan to abolish the Affordable Care Act, and they wrap all of that up behind a banner of “Christian family values.”  If you support them, you have no right to call yourself a follower of Christ.

it’s so rare, yet so fulfilling, to see the J-man on my dash

One of my friends is literally the most religious Christian I have ever met. What does that mean in regards to her lifestyle and outlook? She loves everyone. EVERYONE. Unconditionally. And she supports healthcare and education and birth control and everything that’s necessary to have a healthy, stable society.

Because that’s what her homeboy JC would want.

Canon Jesus is better than Fandom Jesus.

OMG 

“Canon Jesus is better than Fandom Jesus.”

 FTW.

June 21 2017

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quietstorm-thundathighs:

life received

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